Saturday, May 3, 2014

I am twenty six years old.

When I was younger I never thought about being married, going to college or even the fact that I would grow up.
I remember playing Barbies with my best friend all the time, but I don't recall my Barbies ever going to college, getting married etc.  My dolls went to concerts, were fashion designers, models, singers and actors.
I wish I had my Barbie's life. Except for when I chopped off their hair that one time, that doesn't grow back.

What I'm getting at is that I have never wanted to grow up and the career I've always wanted isn't the career I have now.
I wish I could go back and tell Little Me to try harder, pressure her parents to do the acting thing more because when I did my acting classes these last couple of years I absolutely loved it.
If I have children I would never pressure them into it because I missed out, but I wouldn't deny them that option either.  I dream big, it's what I do. That's why I don't shoot down other peoples dreams because I know that mine are big and tough to get into.

I am panicking.
I love my job (I haven't even started yet but I did my practicum) but it's not something I want to do forever. Or it is something I want to do forever but I'd like to have my dream as a hobby. The job pays for the hobby/dream.
I've been so anxious lately, I can hardly sleep.  I feel like I missed out on something I love.  Then I remind myself you are a twenty six year old who looks like she's eighteen (so I've been told).  There's still time.

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