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Monday, August 28, 2017

Standing Up To My Anxiety




Lately I've been living the life of a single girl. . . sort of.
My fiancee is working away at the moment and so I am by myself.
I know lots of couples do this, and it's tough.  I'm lucky that it hasn't been for months at a time, yet, but it's still hard to have him away.

I have really bad anxiety when I have to go out and do stuff by myself.
Like groceries? If I go right after work or early in the morning I'm good, but if I have to go on my days off in the middle of the day? Forget about it, I end up calling my parents and getting one of them to go with him.

Lately I've been challenging my anxiety, or myself I guess.
I meet my mom for coffee at the mall every Sunday when she's working, once she goes back to work I make myself do a lap around the mall by myself and if I'm brave I go into a store or two.  The longest I've done this for lately is about twenty five minutes and then I get sweaty and panicky and have to leave.

So yesterday I decided I was going to take about a 3 hour drive to my favorite beach.  I made myself do it, I almost have to bully myself into doing things...it's pathetic.
But I did it, I spent 3 hours there and even went body boarding.
Proof:
 Once I was on the road I was having a great time blasting my favorites songs on a beautiful, sunny day.  The beach was busy, but it's so big and honestly, no one else cares what you're doing.
I have to keep reminding myself that.
Like if I want to make myself start running again and I have to remind myself that no one else actually cares what I'm doing, I'm bettering myself and will feel great after.

I just thought I'd give a quick update on my anxiety, and while not everyone has a partner that works away so it forces you to do things alone...it helps.  I would suggest bullying challenging yourself to do things outside your comfort zone.

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