Saturday, April 21, 2018

Giving Up Alcohol (Week One)

I think I'm going to give up drinking.

I've said this before.

I've done it before.
From age nineteen to almost twenty two, I didn't drink.  It was my thing.

Lately whenever I drink I become the crying girl, the sloppy drunk girl. . .I get stupid.
Mostly it's due to anxiety (leads to drinking more) and social situations (I'm very anti-social).

I love my co-workers, but I feel like when they're a bunch of women, don't get belligerently drunk with them. 
I used to work with a bunch of guys and we would always get drunk together, for some reason it was different.  I never felt like they would gossip about me behind my back, I felt safe.
I don't feel safe right now.
I confessed a lot of things to someone, who I trust completely, but it still has me on edge.

My heart is pounding, I'm cursing my drunk self, I couldn't sleep last night, my chest is unbelievably tight.

Who else did I talk to?  What did I say?  Did I speak too loudly?  How many embarrassing things did I do besides spill my drink?

I was a mess.
My friend told me I was drunk and she found me crying, which I knew, but she didn't say much else so I hope I wasn't too out of hand. 

Therefore, no more drinking. . .for now.
I love my wine, but we'll exchange it for tea or sparkling water after a hard day.

I look forward to being more hydrated, more energetic, less depressed, less redness in my face, less breakouts, losing the extra weight from the empty calories, you know basically everything that comes with alcohol.

I'll keep you updated on my journey and we'll call Sunday April 15th the first day.
Here we go!

Update: April 21st
I was anxious every day this week except for Friday night/Saturday.  I had very poor, broken sleep every night.
But here we are one week with no alcohol.
Currently, my skin is breaking out a bit and I my energy level has been quite low after the work day (probably due to poor sleep), but I know the benefits will be much greater.
It's Saturday night and I wanted wine so badly, just because it's the weekend, but I made myself busy at home and later went out for coffee instead.
Onto week two!


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